Plane Etiquette for Passengers (yes, there is such a thing!)

Ah, Jetiquette, also known as plane etiquette, also known as how not to be a jerk 30,000 feet above sea level.

It’s a wild world out there in the world of travel in 2023! It’s as if we’ve all been stopped from travelling and living our best lives for a few years or something, and like we’ve all forgotten how to behave when jammed into a flying sardine can in the sky with complete strangers. A few things have changed on the other side of the global pandemic when it comes to jetting from A to B, so buckle up (just until your cabin lights switch on after take-off) as we’re going to run you through a few tips and tricks on how not to end up on someone’s Instagram stories from going full Karen on your next flight!

THE ARMREST ARMAGEDDON

Ah, the eternal struggle for the armrest – that skinny piece of real estate that brings out the territorial animal in all of us. Who gets it? Well, believe it or not, pal, you’re meant to share it. Don’t be THAT guy! Gone are the days of passive-aggressive elbow jabs. Try to imagine an invisible line down the middle and just stick to your side. It’s better than dealing with tension in the air because Beryl next to you needed an armrest to finish knitting for her niece before she disembarks. Trust us, you’ll live.

OVERHEAD OLYMPICS – YOU PACK IT, YOU STACK IT

Hands up if you’ve ever treated the overhead luggage compartment like you’re own personal Tetris challenge. Well, the overhead bin ballet has been a bit refined. Passengers are now encouraged to place their larger items wheels first to maximize space and efficiency. It’s also not the flight attendant’s job to be your personal valet and put your heavy bags up for you. So don’t act hard done by if they don’t pander to your needs. Often, they do such things anyway AND with a smile because they are real-life angels in the sky. Remember, a harmonious boarding experience begins with a well-packed bag, so don’t be that person that holds everyone up and acts baffled because their luggage suddenly weighs more than the allocated carry-on limit.

WOULD THE REAL SLIM SHADY PLEASE SIT DOWN

Believe it or not, you can’t just hop off a plane like a bus (I know, shocker). You have to wait until the cabin crew have done their thing and, you know, the massive stairs have actually been wheeled over to the plane so you can actually get off the thing. So just calm your farm and chill in your seat until it even looks like you can get off the plane. The last thing anyone wants is Barry’s crouch pointing directly in their face while he stands in the aisle for no reason, while everyone else remains seated until they are told otherwise.

MIDDLE ISLE MELANCHOLY

For those sandwiched between fellow passengers, empathy goes a long way to you. It goes without saying that if you’re not in the middle seat – keep your body parts to yourself. And no, you’re not allowed to use the middle seat passenger’s shoulder as a pillow if you get a bit sleepy. Bring ya neck pillow, you goose! Additionally, while striking up conversations can be pleasant, it’s essential to gauge your neighbour’s interest before launching into a lengthy dialogue about who your favourite Masterchef contestant is. Just read the room, chief. 

So, in the ever-evolving landscape of air travel where armrests have become battlegrounds and overhead have turned into Tetris tournaments, empathy and kindness are going to be the wind beneath our wings. So remember, share a smile, offer a nod, and keep your elbows (mostly) to yourselves. And happy travels!

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